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Forgiveness is about us, not them

Forgiveness. That can be a tough one.

Listen. Their actions were NEVER about you or I. Their actions were about them.

And guess what? Forgiveness is all about US! It is NEVER about the other person.

A lot of the time the other person will never ever realise what they've done. Are we going to spend our whole lives waiting for something that is never going to happen? It's about realising that we can not spend our lives waiting for them to face up to their actions. But that's our view on the situation. Maybe, in their world, they saw it completely differently?

We never have to have that conversation with them. Remember, this is not about them. It's about us.

Their actions may have torn us apart but were they doing the best they knew how in that moment? Did their level of emotional intelligence allow them to recognise their behaviour? Are they 'wired' completely differently to us?

Forgiveness does not minimise or justify the wrong. In forgiving, we are, in fact, saying the offender IS wrong.

Forgiveness does NOT mean to condone the persons actions. It means that we free ourselves from the negative energies that bind us to them. We free ourselves from the pain, anger and suffering. And instead, bring ourselves peace, healing and hope.

Forgiveness is a choice. Not a feeling.

~ What can forgiveness look like? ~

+ Recognising the trapped emotions

+ Sitting, breathing and processing the feelings

+ Releasing the emotions

+ Releasing the notion that we are a victim

+ Releasing the need for revenge

+ Making a conscious decision to willingly move forward peacefully, full of hope and love

It may take time to heal and reach the level of forgiveness that releases us fully. We may need to repeat our healing process over and over again. Every single day. Eventually, we will release the feelings of hurt and anger, and instead, find peace.

Remember, it was never about us. But forgiveness is not about them, it IS about us.

What decision are you going to make?

Stay happy and healthy,

Sian x


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